Raise the Twitter profile of your school.

Pledge support for facial tattoos.

@TattooCollective fights for students to have their faces tattooed.

#catteachers

Several parents asked if the school could be more flexible.

This is Headteacher Eric’s response.

“We’re not here to help parents”, he said.

#catteachers

Just driving my Mercedes. Cool tinted windows.

Got pulled over by police officers, for refusing to stop.

I complained, “this is racial profiling”.

“Just because I’m a cat!”

Gonna rant about this on […]

We should teach children to love learning.

It’s not our job to teach them anything useful.

It’s not our job to get them ready to earn a living.

We are not child minders!

#catteachers

Decolonise the curriculum.

White science, art, technology, invention, medicine, should no longer be taught.

Highlight previously unknown Edith Black Catstatue  for her heroic work sitting by the […]

We must recognise authors from all backgrounds.

Here’s my balanced reading list for 5 year olds.

150 books all by black authors.

#catteachers

Black Labour MPs have written to Home Secretary Priti Patel.

They told her she’s not black enough to speak for BAME people.

Are you black enough for BLAME (Black Labour And Minority Ethnic)?

#catteachers

Teacher unions complain that government won’t involve them.

The unions are open to ANY ideas, but

this is their line in the sand, and they ARE NOT MOVING!

#catteachers

Sam’s friends graduated with him and went into many different professions.

Law, finance, business, design, advertising.

Sam became a teacher. They all do their jobs.

Sam teaches, but is expected to […]

Eric pondered.

Does society want a teaching profession built on:

Professional competence?

Or

Personal charisma?

OFSTED requires schools to create a curriculum from scratch.

So Felix decided to waste even more time, and create the alphabet from scratch.

Felix wonders when teachers will come to their senses!

#CatTeachers

For 4 million years humans have been teaching their children (successfully).

In the past 5 years children stopped learning, if teachers didn’t have a Cognitive Science degree (according to OFSTED).

#CatTeachers

OFSTED’s claims to genuinely listen to criticism were dealt a blow when we visited their Head Office today.

#CatTeachers

How we laughed at Brain Gym! Things are so much better now.
Cognitive Load Theory
Pupils “building interconnecting schema in their heads”.
No overloading of Working Memory
Spaced […]

Exclude a pupil for 1 day = Cannot be “Outstanding”.

Pupils cannot define Business vs Enterprise = “Requires Improvement”.

2 Year KS3 = “Special Measures”

#CatTeachers #PauseOfsted

Latest OFSTED Inspection Guidance

“The acquisition of knowledge through a well-planned, carefully structured and sequenced curriculum enables pupils to build an interconnecting schema. Expertise depends on rich […]

An OFSTED spokesperson said,

“The feedback we receive after an inspection continues to be very positive”.

#CatTeachers #PauseOfsted

OFSTED has relaxed inspection regulations for one year.

Headteacher Steve looks forward to drowning next year.

#CatTeachers

Get ready to be failed by OFSTED.

Here are the details of what OFSTED are really looking for.

You could not make this stuff up! These are the actual briefing notes for OFSTED inspectors!

Yet again, truth […]

Teacher Dave has been told he “must NOT overload working memory”.

Dave remembers the time before all this cognitive science crap.

Happy times!

#CatTeachers