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MAT CEO Calls for Efficiencies


Here is Sir Simon Swaggerhips, CEO of WeAreGreat MAT.

Today Sir Simon announced a call for sweeping efficiency savings.

Management consultants from Sir Simon’s own company “Mats-R-Us”, have proposed savings on the salaries of dinner ladies, cleaners, and teaching assistants.

The proposal still has to be ratified by the MAT board comprising members Sir Simon, Sir Simon’s wife, and the CEO (Sir Simon).

Asked for his reaction, Sir Simon’s brother, Minister for Academies Lord Helpus, said “This is a matter for individual trust leadership teams”.

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